Funny Anecdotes For Wedding Speeches

There comes a time in every man's life when the dreaded speech preparation and delivery has to be dealt with - it will happen when you get married, if you are the father of the bride or one of the unlucky gaggle of best friends who get picked for duty at a wedding.

The question is you have to deliver a very polite speech which will tickle every person and offend no-one, which is favorable for children's ears and still engages the grown-ups and which may test your friendship and relationship with the bride, groom, family and requisite others but is assuredly not supposed to break it.

Irish Names For Boys

The best rule is to try to keep it clean - ribaldry is fine, but smut is not!

Funny Anecdotes For Wedding Speeches

Celtic Thunder: The Show Best

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Celtic Thunder: The Show Feature

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Celtic Thunder: The Show Overview

For Celtic Thunder, Sharon Browne has teamed up with Grammy-nominated Irish songwriting and composing veteran Phil Coulter to produce a show that includes an eclectic mix of songs ranging from the traditional "Mountains of Mourne" and "Come By the Hills" to international hits such as "Brothers in Arms" and "Desperado," as well as original compositions by Coulter, who has written hits for Elvis Presley ("My Boy") and the Bay City Rollers, and performed with Van Morrison, Tom Jones, and the Rolling Stones. The ensemble numbers in Celtic Thunder reflect the power of the vocalists, who range in age from 14 to 40, and feature songs that celebrate a common Celtic heritage.

Track Listings: 1. Heartland 2. The Mountains Of Mourne 3. Raggle Taggle Gypsy 4. Ride On 5. Come By The Hills (Buachaill On Eirne) 6. The Old Man 7. Love Thee Dearest 8. Heartbreaker 9. Nights In White Satin 10. A Bird Without Wings 11. The Voyage 12. The Island 13. Brothers In Arms 14. Mull Of Kintyre 15. Puppy Love 16. Lauren & I 17. Steal Away 18. Remember Me (Recuerdame) 19. My Boy 20. Desperado 21. Ireland's Call 22. That's A Woman 23. She 24. Young Love 25. I Wanna Know What Love Is 26. Cal/Local Hero 27. Caledonia 28. Yesterday's Men

Customer Reviews

*** Product Information and Prices Stored: Jan 12, 2012 02:56:09

You can start sketching out your speech around a few short jokes - try this:

Q. Do you think marriage is a lottery?

A. No - with a lottery you stand a small chance!

Clean and humorous and no-one is realistically going to get upset or have their feelings hurt.

It's probably best to stay away from something like, "Marriage is the chief cause of divorce", that is too close to the bone and especially with many of the wedding party already having gone through a divorce and with divorce rates so high.

Some one-liners from history are commonly a good way to liven up your speech to, try these:

"The best way to get most husbands to do something is to propose that maybe they're too old to do it."
- Ann Bancroft

"I think men who have a pierced ear are good prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewellery."
- Rita Rudner

"By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll come to be a philosopher."
- Socrates

"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."
- George Burns

Just make sure that you are even handed in your use of such quips - if a one-liner takes a swipe at husbands, make sure there is a counter-balancing quip at the charge of wives.

One-liners are great to drop into a speech but sometimes you need something more detailed. One technique is to take an existing story and weave the bride or groom into the tale as participating characters. If you don't feel comfortable with doing this, try personalizing a story using man every person is well-known with, even if the population complicated are not directly know by the ensemble, say your old school teacher.

For instance:

"I remember meeting Mrs Smith, our old maths teacher, years after leaving school at a cocktail party. I said "Hi" and we started talking until I noticed she had her wedding ring on the wrong finger - when I asked her why she had the ring on the wrong finger she told me it was because she'd married the wrong man!"

Or you can poke fun at yourself:

"I married Miss Right, but I didn't know her first name was Always"

There are of course mother-in-law jokes, but given the proximity of two of them to the bride and groom, great tact and care needs to be exercised, but just in case you need one, here it is:

"Behind every prosperous man is a stunned mother-in-law!"

Funny Anecdotes For Wedding Speeches